You should not be defined by your anxiety. You are not an 'anxious person', you are just FEELING anxious... Spot the difference? Person vs Problem. Just like you are not influenza or cancer. Externalise it. Name it if you need to. You will have likely heard of the well-known 'black dog' analogy for depression. Don't forget about anxiety too ... you can refer to it as 'the anxiety monster', 'the thief' that steals your confidence, or a 'con-artist' that tricks you into believi
🔹Make a PRIORITY list that reflects your important VALUES
e.g., family, mental health, work... 🔸Choose SPECIFIC goals. As specific as possible. Visualise them so you know you're on track.
e.g., rather than 'more quality time with kids', instead aim to 'spend 20mins both morning and night playing with kids without technology (ideas - build blocks, read book, kick a ball, dance off)' 🔹Don't forget to consider these essential SELF-CARE tools in your list of goals:
Christmas can be a bit manic. You can see why it's overwhelming when organising a million and one things for the actual day in the context of financial pressure, work deadlines, functions, and organising New Year holidays …
A FEW TIPS TO SURVIVE:
🎄 Keep up your SELF-CARE routine – now is NOT the time to stop exercising, micro-breaks & relaxation. If you ‘fill your cup’, you will have more energy to pour back into creating a fun Christmas.
🎄 Watch out for unhelpful “sho
Seeking support is beneficial for maintaining mental health ... So why are people not openly disclosing their struggles with their partners, friends or family members? It may be for fear of perceived failure or judgement, avoidance of potentially burdening others ... And/or just pure frustration at the common unhelpful response, which I call the 'fix-it response'. This response is almost always well-meaning from those who care and desperately want you to feel happier... so wh
Are you stuck in a Supermum vortex? Being called a Supermum is supposed to be a light-hearted compliment … but is it helpful? The definition of Supermum *may* include a daunting long-list of superparent powers such as:
🔻maintaining a happy, calm disposition 24/7,
🔻'always’ patiently managing difficult child behaviour and giving them your undivided attention every waking moment,
🔻becoming a top chef offering full nutritional bento box menus every day with home-cooked/bak
Now that you’ve normalised your anxiety (see Part 1) and identified your specific triggers (see Part 2), it’s time to challenge your thinking. Why? Because unhelpful thoughts drive our emotions. When you notice that red flag of anxiety, irritability or low mood, use some calming relaxation strategies. Drop your shoulders, take a few deep breaths (look up diaphragmatic breathing techniques to facilitate this) and ground yourself in the present (check out mindfulness techniques
After normalising your emotions in the context of difficult parenthood adjustment (see Part 1), think about your specific triggers. Does your anxiety/stress/irritability/low mood seem unprovoked? Shine that light on your emotion to determine which events/situations/thoughts are really behind the scenes. I guarantee there will be some patterns. VULNERABILITY FACTORS
Are there any background factors that make you feel vulnerable to stress?
Are you meeting your basic self-care
Anxiety, stress, worry, nervousness, whatever you want to call it, is common. Really common. Often underreported and misunderstood, yet it can be highly distressing and isolating. Whether your anxiety is mild or more debilitating, it needs to be normalised somewhat. It’s understandable to struggle when adjusting to parenthood. Especially if you come from a polar opposite pre-parenthood life of: - control and predictability
- focused pursuit towards high achievement in your c